she built her wings

life is always full of surprises
some good
some bad
some sad
and some just hurt you to your core

i had no idea words could hurt so badly
but they do
i have never had someone i cared so much about say such hurtful things
maybe i deserved it
honestly if the person was really my friend and cared about me
i think if it was really something i deserved
it could have been said in a nicer way
i am good with constructive criticism

we all have our weaknesses
we all make mistakes
we are all looking for attention
we all want to feel wanted
we all want to feel loved
we all want to feel needed
that doesnt make me a freak
that makes me human

i am not perfect
i never wanted to be
i am prefectly imperfect
and i am proud to be that

i have had disagreements with people


she built her wings~~~on the way down

sticks and stones.....

will break bones
and words will hurt
they hurt more deeply than people realize

what is going on with Amanda Bynes???
the poor little girl is obviously desperate for attention of some kind
she seems to be posting odd pictures from her twitter
and now someone has started "bynesing"
which is being compared to planking but with a shirt over your head
why?
she isnt the only one who ever put a shirt over her head
or a blanket
or a bag
or a mask!!!














i dont understand society anymore
why do we pick on people like this
look what happen to Britney Spears
how do people sleep at night knowing they might have played a part in some of these celebrities actually going crazy
the paparazzi that surrounds every celebrity, even those that arent even REAL celebrities
they will cause you to lose your mind
i have seen them completely invade peoples privacy
and yes i know
they knew what they were getting into
but honestly, does that make it alright?
i think not

this poor girl started out acting as a child
she will join that long list of child actors who will struggle for the rest of their lives
and not only does she have the photographers and media following her every move
but she also has the common person mocking her and making fun

next we will probably see her beating some photographer with an umbrella
or shaving her head

*shakes head*

sometimes the people in this world really disappoint me
with all the "stop bullying"
and yet grown ass adults are bullying in their own little way
HYPOCRITES!!!

i was taught not to make fun of anyone when i was little
and i taught my children to same
my two boys took up for defenseless school mates that were made fun of
i know, cause i got called to school because of it
and they would come home and tell me how they felt bad for a certain child

i just wish there were more people in this world who didnt thrive on exposing the worst in others

love leaves a memory no one can steal

my heart is very heavy today
a very special friend of mine has lost his sister to cancer
this young lady had fought so hard
and was very positive with a smile at all times
until closer to her last days, she was overwhelmed with pain
and was just ready for it to end

my heart hurts for her family and her children
these children are so confused, bitter and sad
cancer is a horrible disease
and it doesnt discriminate
it affects everyone

so today
i am thankful for the ones i do have in my life
and the ones who truly care about me
its moments like this that make me realize just how lucky i am

so hug the ones that are special to you
and if they arent nearby, at least let them know you care

(hugs)

pink cowboy boots

I can remember when i was young
i always wished for a little girl
one that i could play dolls with
and dress up
and we could go shopping and get our nails done

dont get me wrong
i love my two boys
with all of my heart
i am sure there is a reason i didnt have a girl

but my sister had one
and i immediately adopted her
what a hard headed little girl she was too
i would always try to brush her hair and fix it nice
and she would get so mad
and tell me to stop

she had gorgeous long curly hair
and she would never let me do anything to it
it always looked like a mop
she was always sort of a hard, tom boy, strong willed little girl
she had an older brother that constantly picked on her
and she learned early how to protect herself
and fight back
to this day, i swear she can kick his ass

but she was the only girl on our side of the family
and my oh my was she spoiled!!
i would go visit my sister often

i remember it like it was yesterday
i would go over there and try to help her out
or just hang out with her
and everytime i knocked on the door, my niece would intercept me at the door
drag me to her room
and lock the door
she would tell me Aunt Chele you are playing with me not my mommy
i want you to stay in here with me
ok?
how could i say NO??? =/
so i did
i stayed in there for a long long time
playing, watching cartoons, coloring
whatever she wanted to do
she usually came home with me
and spent the night
her and my youngest son were like brother and sister
they use to play school all the time
so cute

i still remember, and so does she, the pink pair of cowboy boots i bought her when she was about 8 years old
she wore them everywhere
for her golden birthday, she turned 9 on the 9th of December
i took her to see her favorite Disney Movie
LIVE at the Saenger Theater
i will never forget picking her up that night
she had the cutest little dress on and those pink boots
her feet were starting to get too big
but her mom said she insisted she wear them
she was so excited
so was i
i love live theater and i wanted her to witness it too

we talked and laughed the whole way
we were so excited
we found our seats
and waited
we didnt talk again except during intermission
we were both on the edge of our seats
and unable to stop staring at the stage
it was amazing
at that moment
i was 9 also

there are many moments i remember with my sisters children and my own
and this is one of them
one i will never forget
and i dont think she will either

i love her unconditionally, as i do my two nephews and my two boys
they might mess up
but i will never stop loving them

i think i might buy her a new pair of pink boots for her birthday this year
just because
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